What's next?

As I am now a college graduate, in the middle of my third internship I have become all too familiar with a question that in and of itself is not bad... but if one allows it to always penetrate one's mind it can often lead to constant distraction, confusion, anxiety and uneasiness. What's next? Where are you going next? What are your goals for the next 5 years? What about the next three years? Where do you see yourself next year? Or even the more Christianized, "where is God taking you next?".

Like I said, I do not believe that these are all bad questions. They are good questions to ask at times, but if one allows themselves to constantly ask these questions it is increasingly difficult for one to ever see where it is they have been, or where it is one is currently. Could it be that culture has instilled that we must always be looking for what is next that we miss where we are and what God is currently doing?

This has been extremely convicting to me as of late as I have allowed these questions to keep me just distracted enough on the "good things" God had for the future that I missed the great things He was doing right now. It would often hit me in very odd ways. As I drive down the road talking to someone about what God says about loving others, I would see someone broken down on the side of the road and I would not realized I had passed them until I was a couple miles down the road. There were times that I turned around, other times I did not. Or similar scenarios where I would be on the way to a ministry meeting and I would pass the person on the side of the road because I just had to get to that meeting so I could prepare to "do" ministry. It makes me wonder how many times I have failed to see those in need because I was too busy doing "good" things.

In addition to this I have spent countless nights looking at different seminaries, ministries, dreaming about the places I could one day go, researching how I could possibly one day go to these places and the things I might do when I get there. Now I do not see this as being all bad, but as I reflect and look back at the amount of time spent researching and dreaming compared to the time spent on my knees not only to seek guidance, but to simply spend time with God it is quite convicting.

I have too often allowed the question "what's next?" to penetrate my thoughts and actions to the point that I have missed the opportunity to commune with the Creator of the universe and in doing so I believe I have missed opportunities to become more in tune with the Spirit, which I believe would provide the answer to this question.

I have learned a valuable lesson: spent more time knowing God and less time trying to know what He wants you to do. I firmly believe that when this is done seeing what God has next is not a matter of how much research or dreaming has been done, but merely asking how willing are you to be obedient? How willing are you to follow where the Spirit leads without perfect rational as to why you are doing what you are doing? How willing are you to merely trust Him with "What's next?".